Every shared kitchen sits one eaten yogurt away from a cold war. The disputes are never really about yogurt — they are about missing systems. Twenty minutes of treaty-writing in September prevents a year of passive-aggressive sticky notes. Here is the template.

Shelf Sovereignty

Each person gets defined territory — a shelf, a fridge zone, a bin. Unlabeled items in shared zones are communal by law; labeled items are sacred. Ninety percent of kitchen conflict dies with this single clause.

The Communal Staples Fund

Oil, salt, coffee, dish soap: the things everyone uses and no one wants to keep buying. A small shared fund ($5 each monthly) with one designated buyer ends both the freeloading resentment and the four-bottles-of-ketchup problem.

Dish Diplomacy

The rule with teeth: dishes done by the cook before bed, or a 24-hour maximum with named enforcement (the offending dishes migrate to the offender’s desk — harsh, effective, traditional). Sink archaeology destroys more friendships than politics.

The Shared Dinner Clause

One optional communal meal a week — rotating cook, big cheap pot (chili, pasta, curry) — costs each person almost nothing and buys the goodwill that makes every other clause enforceable. Treaties hold better between people who eat together.

Territories defined, staples funded, dishes deadlined, one shared pot weekly. The tiny kitchen was never the problem — the missing treaty was. Draft it before the first yogurt goes missing.